Gotta get a message to you
by Siggy
Summary: Ashes to Ashes - AU set after Episode 8 - what would have happened if Alex had got home? A short two-shot story.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimers: All characters belong to BBC and Kudos –drat!**

**Summary: Just an idea that came into my head – what if Alex had got back to the present day?**

_Love letters straight from your heart  
Keep us so near while apart  
I'm not alone in the night  
When I can have all the love you write_

_(Love Letters, lyrics by Victor Young/Edward Hayman)_

* * *

Dear Gene,

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this letter, after all you're never going to be able to read it - I just feel its something I need to do. I'm sorry for the way I left, not saying goodbye or anything. It seemed like one minute I was there with you and the next minute I wasn't.

It's actually been a bit of a wrench, which is something I wasn't expecting. Of course, I have my daughter with me which makes me so very happy. I can't really explain what I'm feeling – I can just imagine you laughing at that! I never seemed to have any problems telling you what I was feeling in no uncertain terms, but you always seemed to take it in your stride, giving back as good as you got. Perhaps that's what I miss – someone to argue with. No-one really does that here, gets really fired up about anything. At least you cared enough to get angry.

Of course, I miss everyone else too; Shaz, Chris, Viv and even Ray – but please don't tell him. And I miss Luigi too! We spent quite a lot of time there together didn't we? Eating, drinking and of course arguing – some of the best times I think. I wonder if you are missing me? Again, I can hear you laugh – which is strange because when I was actually with you, you didn't seem to laugh very much. Perhaps I just had that effect on you.

Well Gene, you had an effect on me that's for sure. I can tell you now – now that I'm at a safe distance. I suppose that's the cowards way out but you were just as bad – you never told me how you felt, always covering up with a joke or some lewd comment. I think the nearest you got was telling me I was 'alright for a posh bird'. That actually meant so much to me as I knew that would be the nearest you would get to telling me you liked me. There were times when I thought, even wished, we would get it together. You see Gene, I may not have shown it, but I actually wanted you, quite badly sometimes. But more than that, I needed you. Whatever your faults, you were always there, even when I didn't want you to be.

And now I miss your physical presence here in my world - your very real and solid presence. In the end, you were not just a "construct" to me; you were a person with real feelings and thoughts, hopes and desires.

Maybe we will meet again some day – I hope so. In fact, consider this open invitation to pop into my life any time you like – I look forward to it.

Love always

Alex xxx

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimers: All characters belong to BBC and Kudos –drat!**

**Summary: Gene writes a letter**

I memorize ev'ry line  
I kiss the name that you sign  
And darlin, then I read again right from the start  
Love letters straight from your heart

_(Love Letters, lyrics by Victor Young/Edward Hayman)_

* * *

Dear Alex,

I'm not much of a letter writer – doodling is more my thing. I wish someone would invent a system where you could just type a letter and then press a button and it would be gone – no stamps or envelopes, just delivered quick as you like. Maybe they could do it with that heap of junk that sits on my desk – must be good for something one day eh? I digress – quite a lot actually.

You left pretty smartish – not even a chance to say goodbye! Although I probably would have made a mess of it. You see, I didn't want you to go, although I never really said so. You would have thought I was big jessie if I'd said something, if I'd asked you to stay – so I didn't. Besides, you had that daughter of yours to get back to and I couldn't ask you to choose.

First day I met you, I knew you were going to be trouble with a capital T – and you were. (That doesn't stand for Tart by the way). Always arguing, always knowing best, shouting the odds. You're a good copper Bols, and if you just let your instincts guide you once in a while, you will be a really great one – trust the Gene Genie. Still, I actually enjoyed it when we had a good row – made me feel alive again, useful, needed.

Suppose I can tell you now, given than you're not actually here and I don't know if you'll get this letter. I loved ya, you know – there I said it. Actually, still love you even though you're not here. Not just ya bra straps, longs legs, tarty clothes and size C boobs (definitely a C cup) – everything about you. I was just too scared to tell you but now I wish I had.

That last dinner we had was probably the best night of my entire life – and we didn't even shag, errr make love, although if you'd given me the nod I wouldn't have turned you down. Really felt we were getting somewhere that night but then you said you were probably leaving and I just felt like I'd been punched in the gut. Never felt so bad in all me life, not even when Sam died and that was pretty bad.

Place is not the same without you here Alex. Even Ray misses you though he would rather have his 'tache plucked out hair by hair before he would admit anything. So if you ever want to come back and help us out, we'll all be glad to see you and you could bring your daughter along – I'm sure we'll have some pink wafers somewhere.

But sod that lot – I miss you. So next time we meet (and I think there will be a next time), we'll go to dinner and talk – lots. I'll tell you everything you want to know and you'll tell me everything – that's how it should be between friends – and (possibly) lovers eh?

If you ever need me, just yell and I'll be there

Love always

Gene xxxx


End file.
